We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
