Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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