Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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