omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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