My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
