You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize