id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
barbara walters just said penis...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
