god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
