yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
