Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize