i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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