go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
