Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wish you could order shots online.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
