I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
