ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
