Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
