I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
