Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
