I cannot find my penis.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
