My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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