? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
