Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
