you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
