After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
