Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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