Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
