Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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