He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
bring money and cleavage
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
