It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
