Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
