"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize