Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
