The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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