Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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