I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
