He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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