they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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