Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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