Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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