SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
