If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
