That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
