Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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