is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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