Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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