ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
