shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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