May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
