I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
