My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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