is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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