We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
