wakey wakey hands off snakey
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sext me about skeletons
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
