Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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