I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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