:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
