Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
