Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
