When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
