So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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