how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
