Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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